On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the femal....

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A Father came home from a long business trip to find his young son riding a brand new bike. "Where did you get the money for that?" he asked. "It must have cost over 300 dollars!" "I earned it....

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A wee guy was sitting at a bar staring at his drink for ages. Suddenly, a big biker came along, snatched his glass, guzzled down the contents and laughed, "Hah! So what you gonna do about that, little....

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Once upon a time there was this farmer, who was raising his 3 daughters. Naturally, he was concerned about their well being and always did his best to watch out for them. As they entered their late te....

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In a city park stood two statues, one female and the other male. For many years the two statues faced each other. One morning an angel appeared before the statues and said: "Since you've both been....

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An American Indian goes into the general store and says, "Me need toilet paper." The proprietor replies "I have SuperSoft at $6 for four rolls, or I have No-name at $4 for four rolls." The Ind....

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Three old ladies are sitting in a cafe, chatting about various things. One lady says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn't....

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Jose arrives at the Mexican border on his bike with 2 huge bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and asks: "What's in the bags?" "Senior, It's only sand." replies Jose. "Sand??? Well, w....

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An old fella pulled over to the side of a deserted country road because his old pickup truck was giving him engine troubles. He lifted the front hood of the vehicle to take a closer look at what the p....

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Little Johnny got a prime clerk's job at the local department store. One day, a young pretty girl strolled up to the fabric store's counter where Johnny was working and asked: "I want to buy this ma....

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Once upon a time there were four people; their names were Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. Whenever there was an important job to be done, Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Any....

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A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. If one felt hot, the other thought it was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other insisted the volume should b....

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It was the last day of Kindergarten and all the kids brought presents for their teacher. The Florist's son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said "I bet I know what it is - i....

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A young girl asks her mother, "Mommy, why is my name Petal?" Her mother smiles and replies, "Sweetheart, when you were born, a petal fell on your head." "Oh," she replies. One of her sons ....

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There was this wee fella sitting at a bar peacefully drinking his beer. A while later a huge beast of a guy walks into the bar and goes up to the little guy and karate chops him in the back. The wee g....

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One night last week I was going to bed when my wife pointed out that I'd stupidly left the light on in the garden shed. As I looked out of the window I noticed that there were several people in th....

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A businessman was strolling up the high street one day when he noticed that Little Johnny was wearing a red fireman's hat and sitting in a red wagon. Strangely, it looked like the wagon was being pull....

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3 sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together they discussed gifts they were able to give their elderly mother. The first said, "I built a big house for our mother."....

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There was once a great actor who could no longer remember his lines. After several years of searching, he finally finds a theatre where they seem prepared to give him a chance to shine again. The ....

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The wise Zen Master is visiting New York one day from Tibet. He goes up to a local hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The hot dog vendor fixes him a delicious hot dog and hand....

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