A team of archaeologists found a slab of rock with 5 figures carved on it, in order:
A Woman;
A Donkey;
A Shovel;
A Fish;
A Star of David.
After months of study, the leader took the ro....
2 soccer players are sitting in a dorm talking about girls. One says to the other, "I never get lucky. I'm just too damn ugly."
The other player says, "No, you just need to go where I live. Back h....
A guy was in a supermarket when he noticed an old lady following him around. Whenever he stopped, she stopped, and she also kept staring at him. She finally overtook him just before the checkout
whe....
An Amish girl and her mother were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The girl ask....
One day, a lady went to a garage sale and saw this mirror against a wall. She looked at it for a while and decided to purchase it. The lady, who was running the garage sale, told her that it was a mag....
You know, if you're a bear you get to hibernate. Yeah, you do nothing but Sleep for six months. My wife says she could deal with that...
But wait ... before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat y....
3 convicts were on their way to prison. Each was allowed to take one item to help occupy themselves whilst incarcerated.
On the bus, one turned to another and said, "So, what did you bring?"
T....
A retired gentleman took a trip to his local benefits office in order to apply for Social Security benefit.
After waiting in line for what seemed an eternity, he finally got to the counter where a....
A young lady visited the government matchmaker for marriage and requested - "I'm looking for a spouse. Can you please help me to find a suitable one?"
The marriage officer said, "You're requiremen....
After a hard day's work, a lady was enjoying a quiet cocktail at the bar when the door slammed open and the most gorgeous hunk of a man she had ever laid eyes on walked in.
Tall, muscular and asto....
A wealthy couple planned to go to an evening ball. They advised Geoffrey, their Butler, that he was being given the evening off to do whatever he wanted.
After an hour and a half at the ball the w....
One day a young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told her Mother - "Mom, Bryan just proposed to me an hour ago."
"Then why are you so sad?" her Mother asked.
"Well, he also told me ....
This guy is really drunk and arrives home real late. Trying to avoid the wrath of the missus he parks a block away from his home. He takes off his shoes as he walks up the stairs, being ever so carefu....
A husband is watching footie when his wife interrupts, "Honey, the hallway light has been flickering for weeks. Can you fix it?"
He angrily looks at her and says, "Fix the light? Now? Does it look....
Hubby: "You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?"
Wife: "When there's a problem, no matter how impossible, I simply look at your picture and the problem disappears."
Hubby....
The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher....
Ben invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful Ben's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between Ben and his roommate....
A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But it was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire pay check.
When he finally ap....
RICH WIDOW LOOKING FOR MAN TO SHARE LIFE AND FORTUNE WITH THE FOLLOWING QUALIFICATIONS:
1. WON'T BEAT ME UP
2. WON'T RUN AWAY
3. HAS TO BE GREAT IN BED
For several months, her phone ra....
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chat....
