Mary Sue passed away in the middle of the night, so her husband,
Bubba, called 911. The operator answering the call said they
would be sending someone over right away.
"Where do you live?" asked ....
A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin
to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number. The Redneck
says, "I want my $20 million."
The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn'....
A farmhand is driving around the farm, checking the fences.
After a few minutes he radios his boss and says, "Boss, I've got
a problem. I hit a pig on the road and he's stuck in the
bull-bars of my....
"If the bed breaks, Sweetheart, I'll see you in the Spring"
"Get out the meat balls Mama, there's a fork in the road"
"I'm sorry I made you cry, but at least your face is cleaner"
"Whistling ....
Billy Joe and Emma Sue are a redneck couple, and one day they
decide to get hitched. So, both clans come out and do the
hillbilly wedding thing--shotguns, whiskey, the whole deal.
On the wedding ....
Two rednecks are walking down the street. One of them looks over
and sees a dog licking himself on the sidewalk. He turns to the
other redneck and says, "Hey look at that dog, don't you wish
you co....
One day two hicks decided to go hunting. One of them fell over
and didn't seem to be breathing. The other hick called 911 and
told the operator that his friend was on the ground and he
thought that....
The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they
had covertly funded a project with the U.S. auto maker for the
past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing black
boxes i....
The town gossip (and supervisor of the town's morals) recently
accused a local man of being an alcoholic because she saw his
pickup truck parked outside the town's only bar.
The man stared at her....
A goose laid an egg in a redneck's garden.
The owner of the goose went round to his house and asked for the
egg.
"Sorry man," came the reply, "In these parts, if goose lays egg
in garden, owne....
A Georgia student sees an ad in the paper... a river cruise for
only $100. He goes to the company and says, "I'd like the $100
river cruise." After paying his $100, the cashier jumps out and
knocks....
There was this sort of DIM guy from kentucky, and he wanted to
buy a horse because he thought gas prices were too expensive. So
he goes to this guy down his road who has a bunch of horses and
asks ....
One day a little boy and his dad decide to go deer hunting.
While in the woods the father spots a deer and tells his son to
stay put and not to make any noise because he would scare the
deer away s....
You know when you're a redneck when...
When you mow the lawn, you find three cars.
Your wind chimes are made from empty beer cans.
Your grandma shouts, "Now, Y'all better come and look at thi....
One day a hillbilly is driving down the road and sees two hitch
hikers. He's a fairly nice fellow and decides to pick them up.
He can instantly tell that they are a little strange but doesn't
reall....
1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter."
2. The keyboard is camouflaged.
3. There is a skoal can in the CD-ROM drive.
4. The password is, "bubba."
5. The numeric keypad only goes up to six.
6.....
A farmer, talking to a neighbor, is bragging about his favorite
pig that he owns. He points the pig out to the neighbor. The
neighbor said, "That pig only has three legs--He ain't worth a
hoot." Th....
It was around noon time when a redneck family decided to take
their brand new boat for a first time drive. They didn't want to
go alone so they invited their neighbors. When the two couples
arrived....
Three guys enter a bar a business man, and teacher and a cowboy.
The business man goes up to the bar and asked the Chinese
Bartender for a coke. The Bartender goes in the other room and
comes bac....
One day I go abroad to a bigga hotel. Inna morning I go down to
eata breakfast. I tella watress I wan two pissas toast. She
brings only one piss. I tella I wan two piss. She say go toilet.
I say yo....
