One day, Paul complained to his friend, "You know, my elbow is killing me. I guess I should see a doctor."
"Don't do that!" said his friend. "There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose ....
A man answers the telephone to find a doctor from the hospital's emergency room on the other end. "Sir," explains the doctor, "Your wife was in a serious car accident. I have bad news and good news."
....
Doctor, the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore."
"Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do."
So, the worried f....
A husband had always been disdainful of people who, in his estimation, talked too much. He proudly told his wife that he'd recently heard that men use 2200 words a day, while women use more than 4400 ....
After dinner and a movie, Carl drove his date to a quiet country road and made his move. When Mary responded enthusiastically to his kissing, he tried sliding his hand up her blouse. Suddenly, she jer....
There was a perfect man who met a perfect woman. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.
One snowy, stormy Eve, this perfect couple was d....
When his wife's snoring woke him for the third straight night, Harry went to the bathroom medicine cabinet, got some aspirin and popped two tablets into her gaping mouth.
"Awk, glub!" choked his st....
A man walked up to a farm house and knocks on the door. When a woman opened the door, the man ask if she knew how to have sex. Not amused, she slammed the door. Again, though, the man knocked, and ask....
A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be di....
A husband and his wife were sound asleep when suddenly the phone rang.
The husband picked up the phone and said, "Hello? How the heck do I know? What do I look like, a weatherman?" He then slammed ....
1. A man will pay for a item he wants. A woman will pay for a item that she doesn't want.
2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he....
The night before her wedding, the bride-to-be had a discussion with her mother. "Mom," she said, "I want you to teach me how to make my new husband happy."
The mother took a deep breath and began, ....
In a small southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me.
The three wise men were wearing firemen`s helmets.
....
One evening, in a busy lounge in the deep south, a reindeer walked in the door, bellied up to the bar and ordered a martini. Without batting an eye, the bartender mixed and poured the drink, set it in....
Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something relating or associated with Christmas.
The....
On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on His shiny new bike.
The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"....
1. You strike a match and light your nose.
2. You take off your shoes and wade in the potato salad.
3. You hear a duck quacking and it`s you.
4. You tell your best joke to the rubber plant.
5. You....
A Russian couple was walking down the street in St. Petersburg the other night, when the man felt a drop hit His nose. "I think it`s raining," he said to His wife.
"No, that felt more like snow to me....
Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish, are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, that`s th....
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I?ll bet you don`t know what day this is."
"Of course I do," he answered as if he was offended, and left for the office.
At 10:00 a.m., the ....
