A judge was instructing the jury that because a witness changed his statement after giving it to the police, he should not necessarily be regarded as untruthful. "For example," the Judge said, "whe....

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Two doctors were discussing a case in a mental ward. The first doctor asked what had triggered such a profound depressive psychosis in the patient. The second one answered, "He's a lawyer. One day ....

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A man walks into a bar, and orders a drink. A few minutes later, he says to no one in particular, "All lawyers are assholes." The fellow next to him lit into him. "How dare you just stereotypica....

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A man walking on the beach came across an odd-looking bottle. Not being one to ignore tradition, he rubbed it and, much to his surprise, a genie actually appeared. "For releasing me from the bottle, ....

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A long New Orleans style funeral procession passes by, but instead of a jazz band, it’s lead by a man walking a lion. Behind the coffin walk at least 200 people. A bystander asks the man, “What’s goi....

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A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer." The inscriber insisted that such an inscription w....

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A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer. The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the l....

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A guy phones a law office and says: "I want to speak to my lawyer." The receptionist replies, "I`m sorry but he died last week." The next day he phones again and asks the same question. The recepti....

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A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes o....

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A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it`s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says,....

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A witness to an automobile accident was testifying. The following exchange took place between the lawyer and the witness: The lawyer: "Did you actually see the accident?" The witness: "Yes, sir." T....

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A man in an automobile, who was stopped by a policeman for speeding, became very angry and called the traffic cop an ass. After he had paid his fine, the judge reproved him, for what he had said to t....

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A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came over the car`s radio telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to t....

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A lady had just finished doing her CPR course and was on the lookout for a chance to try it out. As she left the shopping center she saw a man lying on the floor with a lot of people around him. Scre....

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An engineer, a physicist, and a lawyer were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation. The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questi....

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The Walton`s invited their new neighbors over to dinner. During dinner Mr. Walton was asked what he did for a living. Eight years old Brian Walton jumped in and said, "Daddy is a fisherman!" To whic....

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After a trial had been going on for three days, Harrison, the man accused of committing the crimes, stood up and approached the judge`s bench. "Your Honor, I would like to change my plea from innocen....

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A doctor and a lawyer in two cars collided on a country road. The lawyer, seeing that the doctor was a little shaken up, helped him from the car and offered him a drink from his hip flask.The doctor a....

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An engineer dies and reports to the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter checks his dossier and says, "You`re an engineer, you`re in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the Gates of Hell and is welcom....

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A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbor of his. The neighbor happened to be a lawyer. Incensed at the....

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